I cannot think about it right now!
In deals cut long ago on some dark, desperate nights, I gave up my thighs to my forties. I have forsaken them in favor of areas more easily held and managed. I started buying knee-length shorts and Capri pants and just lived with it. Lately I’ve been in talks again with my body. I want it to stop annexing territories and erecting huge flabscrapers that are blighting my landscape. I feel an urgency to get these deals done before the fifties become a reality. I know it’ll be that much harder – not one YEAR from now, but 23 DAYS from now. Down to the last, I am still working it, still cutting deals.
Suddenly I find myself saying, Okay, I have a bigger butt. I HAVE a bigger butt. I am now a bigger size. I’m okay. It’s okay. This is doable. This is very doable I can do this. I can make this work…...as long as it stops here, I can really do this. I guess a certain amount of change is inevitable. Even good -- freeing. I can be okay with this. And then, muffin tops pop up and I’m a freakin’ Pillsbury Dough Girl and I say, Okay. This has to stop. What do you want from me? I have to eat, don’t I? Just … leave me some semblance of a waist. Leave me some shape in my arms. Okay, FINE, I’ll take a full head of hair and all my teeth………..
……….please?
okay, scarlett,you seem to be in the third stage of the process. your writing, bythe way, is so good, and damn true. thanks for it!
ReplyDeleteYes, your writing is great. And so so funny. Flabscrapers! Your body annexing territories! I love it. You are trying to send me down the same slippery slope, I see it now. You were all too glad to give me your old capris and knee-length shorts. So that I too, would give in, slowly but surely. Must resist! Must resist!
ReplyDeleteCurrently, I am trying to make deals with my neck. Oh, to think I used to mind those few little laugh lines around my mouth. I would take those--and crows feet too --in exchange for what's happening to my neck!
Let the bargaining BEGIN!!!
ReplyDeletei was in happy oblivion until you mentioned your neck, simone. then i looked in the mirror! yikes. wha' happen? laura, i'm looking at your pictures and seeing no flabscrapers!
ReplyDeleteI am still clinging to the hope that the Canadian formula will save me.
ReplyDeletedo you think me foolish enough to walk around with my flabscrapers exposed? oh they are artfully disguised, i assure you. simone, we must pursue this canadian connection.
ReplyDeleteoh, so i guess i'm too old to take advantage of this "canadian connection"?? wtf?
ReplyDeleteyes, Suzanne, I, too, noticed that Simone and Laura are still counting on their positions as the "youngest" to have some meaning
ReplyDeleteWell, perhaps I'll clue you in. I just wondered if you two would show any curiosity.
ReplyDeletePreparation H is reputed to be useful as a wrinkle cream and skin tightener --BUT--you have to use the Canadian version. The crucial ingredient was dropped from the American version some years ago. When Yami said she was going to visit family in Canada, I wanted to give her an empty case so she could bring some back for us.
Oops. I didn't see your comment and actually made my most recent post about this very subject. Read on!
ReplyDelete